Butterflies part 32
by Kksaunt1
Summary: Difficulties in the Thornton's household


Jack was right. Maddie kept them busy, so busy that a month flew by. Before they knew it, she was eleven months old, trying to walk, and Jack was finally able to go back to work.

Elizabeth was making tea in anticipation of the visitors she was expecting any moment. Charlotte and Bill, Faith, and Viola and Beth were all coming to visit. Jack was nervous about leaving because they still had no concrete evidence whether Charles had been involved in Jack's injury, but Bill was going to be there, so he went to work without her.

Faith showed up first at the door. "Come in, Faith! How are you?"

"Oh just fine, Elizabeth. You are looking well. Any morning sickness?"

"No, I'm at about four months or so and all is well."

"That is so great to hear."

"How are you getting along? I know Levi just left town, didn't he?"

"Yes. He is in Buxton, filling in for the Constable there. He promised to write me, so I'm trying to be patient. It's hard though."

"Yes, I know. Being away from someone you care about is never easy. Did he say when he might come back to town?"

"No. He's hoping to stop after his post but, nothing is set in stone."

"Mama?"

"Oh, sorry Maddie. Let me get you your food." She went and got a biscuit for her and put it in front of Maddie on her tray. Then she got the berries she had cut up and put them in a bowl and placed a few on her tray as well. "Here you go, sweetie."

"Maddie is getting so big, Elizabeth. Where has the time gone?"

"I know, but at the same time, it feels like this pregnancy is taking forever."

Charlotte and Bill walked in next. "Hello, Dear."

"Mom, Bill, please come in."

Bill walked right over to Elizabeth, kissed her cheek and sat next to Maddie.

"Hi pretty girl. How's my favorite granddaughter?" Maddie smiled at him.

"Can you say, Papa?"

"Bill you are so cute. Papa?"

"Its easier than Grandpa I think."

"True. Papa it is."

Viola walked in with Beth. "Hello everyone."

"Viola, Beth." Elizabeth walked over and hugged them. It's good to see you."

"You too, Elizabeth."

"Can I hold Beth?" She took her from Viola. "Hi honey. Auntie Elizabeth missed you!"

Elizabeth walked over to the stove to retrieve the now hot water. "Who would like tea?"

"Honey, let me do it. You go sit down," Charlotte offered.

"Ok, thank you." She went to sit down at the table. "Viola, she's beautiful."

"Thank you, Elizabeth."

The rest of the morning flew by with lots of catching up and babies laughing and sometimes crying. Elizabeth was so grateful for friends and family, no matter how much noise they made.

That evening, Jack walked in the door, exhausted but looking forward to time with his family.

"Jack, you look tired, sweetie." She hugged him.

"I am. Exhausted actually. I'm looking forward to going to bed early tonight."

"Me too. How about you take a bath after dinner and I will give you a massage?"

"Yes, that sounds like a good plan."

Jack took a bath and when he was heading to their room, he peeked in Maddie's room to see what Elizabeth was up to. She was nursing Maddie in the rocking chair, playing with her hands. Every so often, Maddie would smile up at Elizabeth, sitting up, halting the progress of getting her to sleep. After a few moments of that game, Elizabeth decided she must not be hungry anymore so she got up and put her in her crib. "Night, Baby. Mama loves you."

"Mama?"

"Shhh. Go to sleep."

"Mama?"

"Night honey." She walked out of the room, leaving the door open. She found Jack in the hallway, smiling at her. "Yes, Jack? What's that look for?"

"Nothing. I just love you is all."

"Yeah, is that all? Ready for your massage?"

He answered by removing his shirt and sitting on the edge of the bed. She knelt on the bed behind him and touched his arm. "Ah! Your hands are freezing, Elizabeth." She laughed. "Sorry, Love." She blew on them and rubbed them together. "How's this?" She began rubbing his shoulders. "Much better."

He let his head fall forward as she massaged his neck. "That feels wonderful."

"Come lay down on your stomach and I will massage your back." He did as he was told. "Yes, Mrs. Thornton." She leaned over him and tackled the knots that always seemed to form in his lower back. After awhile she listened and he was asleep. She covered him up and blew out the candle. "Love you," she whispered.

"Love you more," he whispered back as he flipped over on his back.

"I thought you were sleeping."

"Almost. Thank you for the massage. You're a pretty good wife."

"Just pretty good?"

"Mmhmm." He was drifting off again.

She watched him for a moment. He was adorable when he was asleep. She really wanted to kiss him right then, but she didn't want to wake him up. She could wait until morning. She rolled over on her side. About a minute later, Jack followed and wrapped his arms around her, like he did every night. She turned her head towards him and kissed him anyway.

"Goodnight, my extremely cute husband," she whispered.

"Night."

The next morning, Jack woke up first, rocked Maddie and cooked breakfast. After they ate, they all went to town, on foot, because it was finally warm enough to do so. "Are you sure you don't mind coming to town, Sweetheart?"

"Of course not. I will visit with Abigail and your mom. I think I might go visit Rosemary and Little Lee too."

Jack stopped walking, readjusted Maddie in his arms and grabbed Elizabeth's hand. "Wait a moment. Can you please stay in town? I don't think it's a good idea to be walking alone with Maddie out of town."

"Jack, I won't be going out of town, just to Rosemary's."

"I'll walk you over at lunch." He kept a firm hold on her hand and started walking again.

"Jack. Wait please." She could see the tension in his face. "Why are you so worried today? We've been to town in the last month. Did you get a telegram?"

"No, I just want you to be safe. We have to be careful."

"We are being careful. I just refuse to be at this man's mercy. Whoever he is that hired the man who shot you. I don't want to stop living our lives while we wait to see what happens next." Jack nodded. "Hey, I love you. Please don't worry. I won't go to Rosemary's without you, ok?" She put her arms around his waist and hugged him. "Let's go, Jack."

They arrived at the jail and Jack hadn't spoken anymore. Maddie had fallen asleep while they were walking, so Elizabeth took her and laid her on the bed in the cell for a moment so she could talk to Jack.

Jack sat down in his chair and stared out the window. Elizabeth walked over to him and sat on his lap. "You ok?"

"Of course." He gave her a small smile, trying to convince her. She took his hand and put it on her now pronounced tummy. "Feel this, Sweetheart." She kept moving it around until he felt a little fluttering. She smiled. "Everything's good, Jack." He nodded, letting a single tear run down his cheek. "Honey, don't cry." She dried his cheek and kissed him softly, lovingly. "I love you."

"I love you more, Elizabeth." He kissed her back and then held her close, not wanting to let her go, wanting to keep her and their baby safe in his arms, which he had started wondering if it was even possible. "I probably should go so you can work."

"Just a few more minutes."

"Mama?"

Jack let her go so she could go to Maddie. They walked back in the room and Maddie saw Jack.

"Dada?" She reached for him. "Hey Sweetie." He held her for a moment. "Be good for Mama today, ok?"

"Dada?" She laid her head on his shoulder. He kissed her cheek and gave her back to Elizabeth.

"Jack, I'll see you at lunch then?"

"Yes. See you then."

Maddie waved at Jack as they left the jail. "Ba, Dada."

"Did you say bye?"

"Ba, Dada."

At lunch, Jack ate at Abigail's with his family and then they walked over to Lee and Rosemary's house.

"Jack, Elizabeth! It's great to see you both. Come in!"

"Actually, I need to get back to work, but you go ahead, Honey." He kissed her and Maddie. "I will be back to get you later."

"Jack, you don't need to worry. I will meet you back at the jail later, ok?"

"Ba, Dada."

"Bye, sweetie."

They walked in to the house and Rosemary was already reaching for some gossip. "What's Jack worried about?"

"Nothing, he just is being really protective right now." She didn't want to tell Rosemary anything about the case, because it would be around town by the afternoon.

"Well, you do have a little one and another on the way, so I guess it makes sense."

"I guess it does. So where's little Lee?"

"He's napping right now. He should be waking up soon though. That boy keeps me busy, that's for sure."

"It will be good to see him. So how are you doing? I feel like we haven't talked in so long."

"I'm just fine, thank you for asking." She stared at her hands and then started crying. "Oh, Elizabeth! It's awful, just awful!"

"What is?"

"Lee. He wants another baby, but I don't! I am the one who takes care of Lee all day long, not him. I am so tired by the end of the day, I can't imagine having two! Lately I've been so sick too, can't keep anything down. I'm dizzy…."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. "Um, Rosemary? It sounds to me like you are already pregnant."

"What? No! It can't be. I don't…I can't …" She started bawling again. It was all Elizabeth could do to not start laughing.

"Its not that bad, is it? Plus, I could be wrong. Maybe you should go see Faith to make sure."

"Maybe I should."

Elizabeth went to the jail around four, when he normally got done with work. She walked in and he jumped. "I'm sorry, sweetie, I didn't mean to scare you."

"That's ok, I'm fine."

"Are you ready to go home?"

"Almost. Give me a few more minutes."

"Ok. I'll just go feed Maddie." She walked back into the room after about ten minutes and Jack had his back turned. "Jack?" He jumped again. Elizabeth frowned. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"Nothing, let's just go." They walked home and Elizabeth made dinner. After dinner, Elizabeth took a bath, fed Maddie and went in to go to sleep. Jack was already sleeping but restlessly. He was having some sort of dream. He was mumbling something but she couldn't make out what it was. Then he yelled, "NO!" and sat up, breathless and sweating.

"Jack? Are you ok? You were having a bad dream, I think." He nodded and pulled her into his arms.

"Are you ok, Elizabeth?"

"Of course. I'm not the one who had the dream." She climbed under the covers next to him and decided he needed to be held for a change. "Come here." He scooted over and put his head on her shoulder and his arms around her waist. She hoped he was ok. He was so worried today, and so jumpy and now having bad dreams. She would ask him tomorrow.

Jack woke up a few more times that night because of his dreams. He wondered why this was happening now? It had been over three months since he was shot. All he could see when he shut his eyes, though, was a man with no face and a gun, aiming at him and his family. Then, when he shot them, he woke up. It was almost morning, so he might as well stay awake. He got up carefully, not wanting to wake Elizabeth.

"Jack?"

"Its ok, go back to sleep."

"Its dark out, what are you doing up already?"

"I'm going to go make coffee." She grabbed her robe and slipped it on and followed him to the kitchen.

She stood, leaning against the counter, watching him. He was exhausted. He kept yawning, barely keeping his eyes open. His hair was a mess, like he had been tossing and turning all night, and he hadn't bothered to put a shirt on, even though it was freezing in the kitchen, since the stove had fizzled out over night. He built the fire back up, put the water on to boil and looked over and saw her standing there. "What?"

She frowned at him. "Are you going to tell me what's bothering you?"

"I'm fine."

"Don't push me away, Jack. I'm only trying to help you."

"I'm not. There's nothing you can do."

"How do you know?"

"I just do. I have to get ready for rounds." She grabbed his arm as he walked past her. He looked at her, his eyes expressing exhaustion and something else, she couldn't quite tell what, though.

She quickly wrapped her arms around him before he could get away. He returned her hug, holding her tight, breathing in her vanilla scented skin and hair. After a few moments, she pulled back and looked at him. "Jack, what is it? What are you scared of?" He wrapped her in a tighter hug. "I'm scared of that man coming back and taking you away from me. I keep dreaming about it and every time, he comes in and I lose you and Maddie. I can't stop him."

"Oh, Honey. I'm so sorry. I'm here, and we're safe. You keep us safe."

"I can't! Don't you see? I can't be everywhere and I can't stop him! Who knows where he will show up or who he will hurt next." He was yelling now.

"Maybe you should send a telegram to my father."

"What good will that do?"

"Think about it. He can at least find out if it was Charles. If we find out it wasn't, at least that will get rid of one suspect and they will have to find another way to get the man who shot you to talk."

He was silent for a moment, thinking. "I guess it couldn't hurt."

"Now, it's still early. Come back to bed."

"I don't want to go to sleep."

"Me either." She moved the now boiling coffee pot over to the other side of the stove and grabbed his hand. "Come on. I'll make you feel better." She smiled.

Jack continued to have nightmares for the next couple weeks. His demeanor changed, quickly getting irritated and angry at the smallest things. He looked exhausted with big dark circles under his eyes and he didn't smile much anymore. He was so focused on his work and sending word to William back and forth waiting for news, that he missed important milestones like Maddie's first steps and her first birthday. He wasn't home like he normally would have been before. He stayed late at the office in town and went straight to bed when he got home, but didn't sleep.

Elizabeth was at a loss. She missed her husband, the kind, caring, considerate man she had known for years. What replaced him was a quick tempered, quiet, sullen man who rarely talked and worked too much. She could feel the tension building up between them on the rare occasion that he talked to her. She couldn't figure out what to do so she decided to take Maddie in to town to talk to Bill and Charlotte. She knocked on their door and waited. "Elizabeth! It's so good to see you. How is everything?"

"Horrible, Mom! I need to speak with you and Bill, please." She couldn't hold back the tears.

"Of course, dear. Come sit down and I will get Bill."

The three of them talked for awhile about Jack and the reason why he was having trouble. Bill said he would contact some acquaintances he had still on the force to see why it was taking so long to get answers. In the mean time, he was going to take over for Jack for the next week and he and Charlotte would keep Maddie overnight that night so Jack and Elizabeth could sort some things out. The only issue would be getting Jack to agree to those things. Charlotte said she would take care of getting him home and then would take Maddie with her once they got there.

"Thank you both, so much. I don't know what I would do without you." She hugged them both and walked with Maddie back home.

Charlotte arrived at the jail, fully expecting Jack to put up a fight. He didn't. He stubbornly continued to work, ignoring her questions and keeping silent. Charlotte thought for a moment. She would have to get tough with him. She stood over his chair as he sat there working.

"Jack Thomas Thornton, you look at me!" He leaned back and looked up at his mother. He hadn't seen her this mad in a long time. "I don't care how old you are, or that you are married and have a child of your own. You will listen to me, and listen good. I am your mother and I don't like the changes I am seeing in you, son. You have always been stubborn, but the last month or so, you have turned into a different person. I don't know what to do to help you except to make you go home to your wife. Stop ignoring her and stop ignoring that sweet granddaughter of mine, or so help me, you won't know what hit you." She took a breath. "Now, let's go." He stood up and walked with his mother to his house. They walked in the door and Elizabeth was waiting with Maddie. "Hi Sweetheart. Maddie are you ready to go?" Jack looked at her, questioning, but not asking.

"Papa?"

"Yes, we're going to see Papa. Say goodbye to Mama and Daddy." Maddie waved then she said, "Ba Dada."

"Bye, Sweet pea." He stepped close and kissed her cheek, tears rolling down his face. He looked at his mom, thanking her with his eyes, not needing to say the words. She nodded at him and walked out the door.

"I made dinner for you, if you're hungry." Elizabeth busied herself in the kitchen, not wanting him to see her cry. Although, chances were, he wouldn't even notice.

"I could eat." She had made his favorite, Shepherd's pie. He, however, didn't taste it. He hadn't tasted anything in a very long time. She got up to clear the dishes and then he watched as she started washing them. "I'll do them, Elizabeth. You go rest."

"Its fine, Jack. I do them every night on my own."

"My mom yelled at me tonight."

"Yeah?" Was it wrong she felt a bit of satisfaction when she heard that?

"She said something interesting."

"Which was?"

"She told me to stop ignoring you and Maddie." Elizabeth sniffed and kept washing dishes. "Why would she say that? Is that how you feel?"

She didn't answer, she just kept washing. He grabbed a towel, took her hands gently out of the dish water and dried them. "Elizabeth? Is that how you feel? That I'm ignoring you?"

"Yes," she responded bluntly.

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't think that's what you're doing, Jack?" She raised her voice.

"No, I mean…"

"Do you even realize Maddie can walk? Or that her birthday was yesterday? Do you realize you missed those things in her life? You can't get them back again, Jack." She was approaching the yelling stage.

"I'm sorry I missed those things. I had to.."

"Work? That's all you do, Jack. You are never home. You don't even rock Maddie in the mornings anymore. You used to always make time for her. Now you don't even make time for me."

"Elizabeth."

"Did you forget about this child? The one growing inside of me? I can tell you that I didn't sign up for this. I married you to be with you and raise a family with you and now I'm doing it alone. I don't want to do it alone anymore, Jack. I want my husband back. Where did he go? The man that I married is not here and I need him."

She could feel herself getting more and more upset and she needed to stay calm for the baby. She walked into Maddie's bedroom and sat down in the rocking chair. Rocking seemed to calm her. She sat there and rocked for quite awhile, rubbing her swollen belly, breathing deep. After a while, she felt calmer so she got up to go finish the dishes. Jack was doing them when she walked into the kitchen. She watched him, mechanically going through the motions. It seemed like that's how he was approaching life now. It reminded her of how he was when they had thought Tom was dead. He eventually stopped pushing her away and let her in, but she didn't know if that was going to happen this time.

She decided to go to bed so she went in to change and hopefully sleep. After Jack finished the dishes he went to find Elizabeth. He walked in as she was changing. She took his breath away. It was something about seeing her in this way that caused him to feel something other than anger and helplessness. He walked over to her, placing his hands on her face and kissed her. She didn't want to do this now. She was so lost and angry, they needed to figure it out, but she missed him so much. He continued kissing her, pulling her deeper into his emotions that were finally breaking through the surface. She broke away.

"No, Jack. That won't fix anything." She sat on the edge of the bed, catching her breath. "I'm going to sleep."

"I thought we promised to never go to bed angry."

"Yes, we did, but what's one more night?"


End file.
